Monday, January 05, 2009
Not Me Monday
The longer I have two children, the more *situations* I find myself in. I have long admired the escapades of those who have "Not Me" material to publish, especially MckMama and her posts here, but ironically enough, I am finding plenty of escapades myself.
This week, I did not want to shake my fist in the face of the Ikea-masters while carrying a screaming, hungry baby through the upstairs showroom, lost and desperately trying to find the quickest exit downstairs to go feed my baby. And of course I did not give up and try to nurse Addie in an alcove by an emergency exit, which did not result in me banging my 2-month old's head on the glass doors, and I'm pretty sure I did NOT flash any of the peaceful shoppers. I was NOT livid and ready to cry when I had to give up that peaceful nursing area and try again to find the exit. Who would rather carry a screaming baby and push a stroller through the crowds and winding showroom to find a private area rather than just get over it and not care who saw me feeding my baby? Not me, that would be ridiculous.
But, on the slim chance that I would try that, I am most certain that I did NOT accidentally *bump* one such shopper when she would not get out of the way of a screaming baby being carried by a very frantic mother, pushing a quite large stroller. No way I would EVER do that. Hello -- my husband is a pastor.
I did not stand and nurse Addie in the bathroom for twenty minutes, while someone waited outside the door. I was not desperate for a moment to collect my thoughts and calm down so that we could salvage the rest of the fun at Ikea.
I did not re-wash a perfectly clean pair of pants because the previous washing apparently *shrunk* them. No, that would indicate that my backside is still a little big from having two babies in thirteen months, which is so NOT the case. Of course my clothes fit me perfectly. And, that would be a waste of detergent and energy. I am NOT that careless. I did not pick up a piece of banana off the floor and feed to Juliana. That's just gross. Nor did I watch her pound down some soymilk after I brushed her teeth for bed. No way would I let my child go to bed with un-brushed teeth.
And, I most certainly did not use wet paper towels to change a child's diaper in the nursery. The mess was NOT too much and the wipes were NOT too small. Not me -- that would almost be like child cruelty. I'm pretty sure that the "mess" also did NOT get on the dress and did NOT need to be wiped off.